I think I've mentioned that I'm re-writing the novel I wrote for my first NaNoWriMo. I started out with low expectations, since I think my self-confidence was at its lowest ebb at the time, and I absolutely hated most of the book. Since then, I've grown to love this new version of the same story. The changes that have happened, almost without my realizing it, are fantastic.

My main character is wonderful; she's no longer your typical Bad-a** female protagonist. She's also not quite as whiny as she was at first. She's a genuinely lonely, scared young woman who eventually takes on a leadership role that's thrust upon her and turns out to be a pretty bad-a** leader with mad street cred. She's becoming something like how she was when I first created her; independent, crafty, tough and street-wise. But it's a hard process, getting to that point. So far she's been horribly sick, kidnapped, and drugged. Soon she'll become addicted to morphine, and after that, who knows? Somehow she ends up as the crazy character she's meant to be.

Other than her changes, the story has been pretty much the same. One of my characters is more insane; the whole tone of the story is a little darker. I like it. It's not the light-hearted kid's book it was when I first wrote it. It's still Young Adult fiction, but not all kiddish and simple like it was. It's evolved, and I love it.

My concentration has been a bit divided lately. I've been focusing on reading a lot, ever since I got a library card, and I've been trying to write more, and I've been exploring the single life. So forgive me if some of my posts are random, rambling, incomprehensible, or any combination of the three. It doesn't help that most of them will probably be written late at night, when my mind isn't quite where it should be, and I've been awake later than I ought to have been. Thankfully I will be done with school soon, and I will have more free time to write, and update my blog. Don't think I've abandoned you, readers, for I have not.

Fare well.

- Aimee

This year, my interest in theater has taken a huge step forward. I was never very interested in theater until last year. I enjoyed watching plays and musicals, sure. And I had the occasional desire to actually be up on stage. Now that I've been taking an acting class, my spark of interest has turned into a flame. Not a roaring fire, but a flame nonetheless.

It's really fun to take on the part of a new person. For instance, in my final project I get to play a school teacher who, once she has been wrongfully accused of being a lesbian, begins to think that the accusation is correct and ultimately commits suicide after confessing her love for her best friend. I'm not the most touchy-feely person, unless I am very comfortable around someone, and I'm definitely not the type to just confess my love for someone so openly. So playing this part is going to be a challenge. Still, it's just fun to NOT be myself for a while.

I'm also required to see two plays for the class. Required is sort of a strong word, though, since I'd love to see them even if I didn't have to (except for the one starting next week, because it has 'adult situations and language' in it, which weirds me out). I also may get to see Macbeth this month, which is very exciting for me! So far I've only seen Midsummer Night's Dream at a high school level, and though it was impressive for high school level, I can't wait to see Shakespeare at a college level. I'm really looking forward to it.

What I'm really looking forward to is actually being on stage, though. I'm pretty sure I'd be good at it, based on my experiences in the class. I may not be perfect at it, since I have very little experience actually acting on stage, but I like to think I'd at least be okay at it. And I can only get better as I do it more, right?

But for now, dear readers, I think my dreams of being on stage have to wait, at least for a little while. It's growing late, and I have school in the morning. Plus, I've just taken up an entire post talking about theater. Not that any of you mind, I'm sure. I'll be going to bed soon, and waking up much earlier than I'd like. So, Good night.

- Aimee

Early morning thoughts

Apparently, I have a lot on my mind. It's three in the morning, and I'm suddenly wide awake, after four hours of sleep. Maybe I've been over sleeping lately.

Or maybe, I'm just too happy to go to sleep.

I'm guessing that's the case.

Either way, I think I'll take advantage of this time and write. I've been re-writing the first novel I wrote for NaNoWriMo, and so far it's turning out great. It's got a whole new feel to it, and I love it! Several of the characters have taken on new personalities, or maybe just more... pronounced personalities, and my main character is becoming more defined. It's been really fun, so far.

- Aimee

Characters = Real life?

So, I'm starting to realize that art really does imitate life. I'm sure I've mentioned before my issues with female characters. It's hard to find the right balance between heroic, tough, and independent and feminine, sweet, and fragile. If you waver too far to one side of the fine line, you end up with, you guessed it, a Mary-Sue. And no one wants that.

But I'm starting to see the same issue in my own life. I can't seem to find the balance between being an out-doorish, video-gamer, nerd, who's literally 'one of the guys', and the feminine, dress-wearing and make-up wearing girl who sometimes rises to the surface. Under the right circumstances, it's really fun to be one of the guys. I really enjoy playing ultimate Frisbee, swapping jokes and otherwise proving that I can hold my own against any guy. I could probably, Probably, beat up most of my male friends. But at the same time, I also enjoy being the only girl, the one who's wearing a dress and not trying to prove something.

It's a weird situation...

Though apparently there IS a balance. Guys like girls who play video games, and like action movies. But they also like girls who aren't constantly trying to prove that they can run faster, or whatever.

Oh well...

I'm sure I'll figure it out eventually.

And when I do, I will have discovered the perfect formula for a female character.

I will then let you in on the secret.

Until then, readers!

- Aimee

Hello, Readers.

Forgive my absence. Life has taken some, while not unexpected, very unpleasant turns as of late. The last two months have been months of completely no inspiration, and little motivation. Dark weeks indeed, to have drained me of inspiration.

Thankfully, my inspiration is slowly coming back to me. I have begun writing once again, and, you, Readers, will hopefully be seeing more posts from me. Do not think I have abandoned you, dear Readers.

In the last few weeks, I have begun several stories anew. My first novel, the one I wrote for the '09 NaNoWriMo, is in the process of being completely re-written. That's right, completely. With a few flow for the plot, and maybe a few deaths, as suggested by one of my friends. I am going to focus a little bit more on developing who the main character is BEFORE she catches a horrendous disease, so that the changes she undergoes are more obvious to the reader. When the reader is sure that she's a snarky, sarcastic, pessimistic loner-type character to begin with, they will definitely notice when she begins opening up to people and thinking a bit more positively.

Aside from that one, I'm working on another re-write of a story that has been a work in progress for years. I have the title worked out, and at least some of the plot. Most of the characters are developed, at least in part. I'm looking forward to seeing how things go.

Thank you for putting up with my absence, Readers. I promise, I'll try to update at least semi-regularly from now on.

Lottsa luv,

- Aimee

Hey, Readers.

I realize it's been a very long time since I've cared to update my blog. There are a number of reasons for that, but I won't go into detail about them. Ultimately, this is not a blog about my personal life (though I may slip a lot of that into my posts). This is a blog about my writing, and my struggles with that. So, to get back on topic.

Here's a poem I wrote just a minute ago! I hope you like it!

I Want to See

By Aimee

---

I want to live my own life
I want to make my own mistakes.
I want everyone to take a huge step back
And let me face my own heart-aches.
I want to learn what I’m supposed to learn
I want to face the demons in my past.
I want to write my story for everyone to read.
I want to make a contribution that will last.
I want to help everyone who needs it.
I want to love the one who needs me most.
I want to protect the people weaker than me.
I just want someone to hold me close.
I want to let myself believe in love
I want to forget so many things.
I want to force myself into the world
I want to cut myself from my strings.
I want to tell the world who I am...
I want the world to see the real me...
I want to fling myself into open space.
I want to see. I want to see.

Redwall Recipes

I'm not sure how many of you are familiar with the Redwall series. It's always seemed a little... obscure. Usually when I mention it to someone they just sort of give me a blank stare. I actually had no idea it existed up until I was about eight years old, and then a family friend introduced it to us, and we fell in love with it. Since then I've collected every single one of the books, including the newest ones. I'm an avid follower and fan.

Well, today I opened the present my little sister had gotten me, and I was surprised to see a cook book! If you ARE familiar with the Redwall series, then you'll know that the descriptions of the feasts, and the food in general, are very exhaustive. I love reading about the food in the Redwall books. It's almost half the reason I read them! And the cook book I now own is a cook book filled with recipes for some of the most delicious sounding meals in the Redwall books!

I'm very excited to start trying them out. I think my first one is going to be something call 'Nunnymolers' or Honeymoles. I'll let you know how the recipes turn out, Readers!

- Aimee

Hey, Readers. It's been a while since I posted last, and I apologize for that. What with school, and finals week finally coming around, I've been very busy. Thankfully, tomorrow is my last day of school before Christmas break. I have my history and psychology finals tomorrow, but they should be a piece of cake.

Since I've been so busy with school, I've been having a hard time concentrating on my writing. I've gone through fifteen or so chapters of my novel, editing and stuff. And I just started writing something new recently. It's something about a dragon. I haven't gotten very far yet. I doubt I ever will. I just can't help writing down new ideas when they come to me. I've got far too many stories in my mind...

Well, hopefully over the Christmas break I'll have a bit more time to write, and edit my novel.

Have a merry Christmas, readers!

Failure/Success

This November has been a time of both failure and success. Although there are still three days of November left, I have called it quits. I reached the end of my novel, and have no more words to write. Even after attempting to fill in more of the story, I could not reach the world goal. So, while I did finish my novel, I failed to reach the 50,000 word goal of the month, and the end of November marks a time of mixed triumph and failure.

I never knew that both could exist together so peacefully.

Thank you for accompanying me on my journey this year, readers. I will continue to update my blog on a (hopefully) regular basis. In fact, I am about to embark upon a new adventure. I have decided that, in order to keep myself writing every day until next November, I will attempt to write one thousand words a day, following daily photo writing prompts. This will be my daily writing practice. Practice makes perfect, readers. Always remember that. Starting on December 1st, I will begin, and hopefully continue my writing on a/n (almost) daily basis.

If I do skip a day or two, forgive me.

- Aimee

Day Twenty-Two

Word count - 41,443

My word count has gone up by maybe 1,000 words since I last updated. I've written such a small amount in the last day or so, it's a little sad. Here I am, nearly done, and I can't seem to get any more words out! Plus, I'm not even sure if my plot will fill up the 50,000 words required to win.

Funny, I seem to remember having the same complaint last year around this time.

I really hope that I can manage to write another 8,557 words without ending my book. If I do reach the end, I guess I'll just have to go back and throw in some filler scenes that I may have forgotten along the way! The urge to put in a smiley is almost overwhelming, so here you have it, readers: =D

Now, I'd better get going so I can write at least a little bit today. I'm all done with my homework for the day (including my final Psychology paper that's not due until the ninth or something?) and now I have nearly all day to write! Good luck to all my readers who are participating in NaNoWriMo! We're nearly in the last week!

- Aimee

Day Twenty

Word count - 39,399

I'm so close to 40,000, it's not even funny. But I can't seem to get there. Only a few hundred words to go, and they just won't come! It's all because my stupid MC had to do something stupid.

On the plus side, I made a visit to the Department of Redundancy Department last night with the sentence: "Overwhelmed by an overwhelming feeling..." How fascinating, the overwhelming feeling overwhelmed her! I shall have to examine that statement more closely just to see how overwhelming one might find an overwhelming feeling that overwhelmed her.

I had to laugh when I wrote that sentence last night, but I was not too half asleep to catch it and correct it. My inner editor is pretty quiet this time of year, but when I make such a glaringly obviously mistake, I can't help fixing it, no matter how funny it is.

Right now, before I try to do any more writing, I have to do some research for a paper I plan on writing tomorrow. I have to research Anti-Social Personality Disorder, which I believe is the disorder The Joker suffers from. Even though no one ever says exactly what The Joker's problem is, I'm pretty sure that's it. I just have to do a little research so I can back up my opinion. After that, I will try to at least break 40,000 words. Wish me luck, Readers! And expect my next update soon. If not tomorrow then at least in the next few days!

- Aimee

Day Seventeen

Word count - 35,995

Welp, I've written very little today. I don't know why, but I've had trouble getting any words written. They're all stuck in my head somewhere, and they just refuse to come out!

On the plus side, I love it when small characters I never intended to be important turns into an important character. My character Jesse has turned from an unimportant character I threw in just for the heck of it, into a potential villain! I really have no idea who his character is going to turn into. He has the potential to go either way, so I guess I'll just have to see how this goes.

The Christmas season has started once again. Honestly, I turn into a bit of a Scrooge during the first MONTH of the Christmas season. When I have to put up with Christmas carols, and decorations, and all the commercialism of the holiday season every day after the first of November, I get a little cranky. I mean, what happened to Thanksgiving? Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday. What's not to like about Thanksgiving? I mean, there's food, family, and thanks to be given! I guess the main reason I dislike the Christmas season is because it just sort of swallows up my favorite holiday. But once the actual holiday Christmas comes around, I tend to shed my Scrooginess.

This year, give Thanksgiving some love, and hold off your Christmas commercialism until at least December.

Thank you.

- Aimee

Day Sixteen

Word count - 34,131

I'm so close to finishing, I can nearly taste the victory. But at the same time, my plot has so much further to go, I highly doubt that it will fit within 50,000 words. So I won't worry about fitting it in. I won't worry about finishing my novel at 50,000. I'm ahead of schedule, so I ought to be able to finish the entire story by the end of the month.

My villain is busy being villainous right now. With his agenda revealed (to the readers, at least), he has only to reveal to the world what he plans to do. People will object, at first. Radical groups of rebels will fight back against his regime of terror. But in the long run, he'll succeed. Or will he?

I'm having a lot of fun planning out what will happen with my villain. Villain's are always so fun to write for. Their evil plans are fun to come up with, and planning their next move is cool.

Anyway, I'd best get back to writing. I'm not planning on doing a lot of writing tomorrow, since I have to teach and take piano lessons, and then do a lot of homework. I have a test to study for.

- Aimee

Day Fourteen

Word count - 30,209

That's right, readers. I'm only 20,000 words away from the goal! Even though I'm hoping to have a little more than 50,000 this year (since last year I won with 51,000) I'm still nearly to the point of winning. Unfortunately, I've come up against another wall. Last night I burst through the last wall in a triumphant blast of gunpowder and words, only to find myself face-to-face with another wall! This wall is proving more resilient to my bombs, shovels and pick-axes. I'll need to rethink my plans in order to get through/over/around/under this wall.

I did just have a spark of inspiration, regarding an event that happens somewhere along the line. I have a new villain, hehe. At least, I think he's a villain. He's more a misguided, confused young adult who's just looking to be appreciated. But he ends up in with the wrong people. I'm not sure how his story will end, but I know how it begins.

It's funny, because he is a character that was not originally intended to be important. Funny how those things work out.

I'll keep you posted on this guy's status as villain/whatever he may be.

- Aimee

I know that several of my readers are not people I know personally. But even the readers who do know me in real life will probably not know the small tidbit of personal information I am going to reveal tonight.

The making of friendships has always been an act I have failed at, repeatedly. In my life I have been introduced to many, many people. And yet only a few have I truly felt I could call friend. That is why it is so nice to be reminded that I do, in fact, have friends. And many of them are people I would never have imagined myself calling friend some day. That's the beauty of friendship, though, isn't it? Taking two unsuspecting people, and suddenly crossing their paths so that they meet, and unwittingly become friends. Friendships are made through experiences shared between two people, and it is just that that makes my friendships (the ones I have formed through the years) meaningful. I could call anyone 'friend'. I could know everything about this 'friend', and yet if we had not shared any experiences, on what would the 'friendship' be founded?

I may not have a lot of friends (comparatively) but the friends I do have are a huge blessing. I would be nothing without my friends (or the reason I have my friends. You know who you are!), and without them, I would probably not be the person I am today.

Friendship is special. Some friendships may not last forever; some 'friends' may turn out to be your worst enemies. But the friendships that last are one of the greatest treasure man-kind can posses.

Readers, never underestimate the value of a friend.

- Aimee

Day Twelve

Word count - 25,884

I did absolutely no writing today. I spent most of my day doing homework. I wrote a short paper for extra credit in Geography, did almost half of the assignment that's due in the same class in a few weeks, and read some history. I also cleaned the fridge, my room, and the bathroom. After that, I picked my mom up from work, and as soon as I got home I was picked up for D and D. Today has been a very busy day. In fact, I feel this poem reflects my day very well.

Today is very boring,
it’s a very boring day,
there is nothing much to look at,
there is nothing much to say,
there’s a peacock on my sneakers,
there’s a penguin on my head,
there’s a dormouse on my doorstep,
I am going back to bed.

Today is very boring,
it is boring through and through,
there is absolutely nothing
that I think I want to do,
I see giants riding rhinos,
and an ogre with a sword,
there’s a dragon blowing smoke rings,
I am positively bored.

Today is very boring,
I can hardly help but yawn,
there’s a flying saucer landing
in the middle of my lawn,
a volcano just erupted
less than half a mile away,
and I think I felt an earthquake,
it’s a very boring day.

~ Jack Prelutsky

I love that poem. I remember hearing it read on that old kid's show Arthur. Does anyone remember that show? I used to love it!

It's nearly midnight, and I'm still at a friend's house. My thought process is fuzzy and slow; I can't seem to get over the terrible wall that has fallen into my path. Writer's block, my eternal foe, how dare you stand in my way? I shall draw my mighty sword, and smite thee. Thy fall shall be great, and thy misery complete. No other writer, nay not one, shall be subject to your tortuous ways. This, oh writer's block, is my promise to thee.

- Aimee

Day Eleven

Word count - 24,341

I skipped yesterday, didn't I?

That's okay. Today I have a little time before History class, so I'm taking time to update right now. I should be studying for my Geography test or something, but a few minutes to update my blog won't really matter.

So last night I was writing, just chugging along trying to reach the half-way mark, when all of a sudden I get to the point where I introduce a new character, Lewis, who is heavily based on a good friend of mine, and as I was trying to write what he said, and all I could hear was my friend's voice in my head. I couldn't help laughing, and that was the end of my writing adventures. I hadn't expected my friend's voice to throw me off so much, but it did, so I'm stuck at a point where I've just introduced a new character, and I can't write anything about him without cracking up. I'm hoping today I'll find it a little easier.

I watched Ramona and Beezus last night with my family. It was so cute! It was just like a books, and it brought me back to the years of my childhood when my mom would read those books out loud to us. I love those nostalgic trips to my past.

Anyway, my teacher will be here any minute, so I'm going to pretend I'm studying.

Happy Thursday!

- Aimee

Day Nine

Word count - 21,050

I can not believe how giggly I am. It probably has something to do with the ridiculously small amount of sleep I've gotten this week. For example, I almost just wrote "I can't not believe". I'm tired, and me and my sister have been giggling since earlier today when I began reading the Nanoisms (that's terribly hilarious typos and grammatical errors for any Readers who don't know the WriMo lingo) on the NaNoWriMo forum. I haven't laughed so hard in my life.

I even realized that I had a few of my own. My favorite one goes as follows:

She was happy to see him, but

And that's it. I have no idea where I meant to go after that! I obviously had an idea in my head at the time, but after going a few hours without writing, the idea left, and I'm stuck with a half-finished sentence that has lost the original inspiration. That's the worst place to be. But I left it alone, and continued the story. I hope I can finish that sentence eventually.

Other than that one sentence that I've left hanging, the story goes well. Exciting things are finally happening, and I can't wait to see where else my novel takes me.

Here's to the second week of NaNo!

- Aimee

Day Eight

Word Count - 17,009

Sorry about skipping yesterday and the day before, Readers. I didn't get a whole lot of writing done on Saturday, since I mostly worked on homework, and since I was not home later in the evening I didn't have time to update. But yesterday I did a lot of writing. I was very proud of my word count, and of what I wrote.

I'm not counting on getting much writing done today. I'm with my boyfriend, just hanging out and watching Castle. Cop shows are always amusing, but when you throw a mystery writer into the mix, they're just awesome!

So, my villain is developing nicely. He's a very interesting character to write. Villains are the most fun to write as it is, but when a villain turns out well, much better than you thought he would, it's a pleasure to write him.

- Aimee

Day Five

Word count - 12,426

My word count is slowly climbing, Readers. I'm very pleased with what I've written, and with how my plot is coming along. It's funny, I threw in two random characters that only play a very small part in the story (but are kind of necessary) and I based the look of both of them on people I know, and the idea of the second one on a person I know. I say the idea, because I did not take his personality, just... the idea of him. His demeanor, I guess you could say.

Is it weird to use the looks and demeanor of people I barely know in my novel? It's not like they'll ever realize they were the model. I did use one of my friend's names, intentionally. But not for the character based on him.

Anyway...

I didn't get as much writing done today as I would have liked. I stayed up way too late last night, and now I'm exhausted. Sleep sounds so good right now.

- Aimee